I know some of you have seen this, but I thought it was funny. Plus I don't have time for a real entry today. I owe you one. I'll get to it soon.
1. Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. too bad he has never cried
2. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. shortly thereafter he grew a beard
3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. he waits.
4. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparallelled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalised, chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second wednesday of the month.
5. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
6. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, chuck met all 3 bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
7. It takes a big man to cry, but it takes Chuck Norris to laugh at him.
8. Chuck Norris is what's eating Gilbert Grape.
9. To prove it isn't that big a deal to beat cancer, chuck norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer, only to rid them from his body by flexing his muscles for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong
10. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain
11. Chuck Norris throws stones in glass houses
12. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax simply by pointing at her and saying "booya"
13. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death
14. There are no disabled people, only people who have angered Chuck Norris
15. Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he simply stares them down until he gets the information that he needs
16. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his Dad did.
17. Chuck Norris won Jumanji without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living tar out of everything that was thrown at him and the game forfeited.
18. Chuck Norris once knocked out Mike Tyson in a bare knuckle boxing match... with both hands tied behind his back.
19. Chuck Norris shot down a German plane in world war two by pointing his finger at it and saying "bang"
20. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't pluck up the courage to tell him.
21. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse.... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
22. after much debate, president truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more humane.
23. Chuck Norris doesn't shave, he kicks himself in the face. the only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is chuck norris.
24. chuck norris frequently signs up for beginners karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the tar out of little kids.
25. the quickest way to a mans heart is with chuck norris's fist.
26. chuck norris owns neither microwave nor oven. when he is hungry, he simply shouts "BAKE" at his food, and out of fear it instantly catches fire.
27. One day chuck norris looked in the mirror and said "no one outstares chuck!". He is still there to this day.
28. before each filming of walker:texas ranger, chuck norris is injected with 5 times the lethal dose of elephant tranquiliser. This is of course to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors that he fights.
29. Chuck Norris can eat a Rubix Cube and poop it out fully solved.
30. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said "don't worry about it honey" and went into his backyard. He came back 5 minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said "Never question Chuck Norris".
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Interesting
| Your 2005 Song Is |
 Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day "My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating" In 2005, you bummed everyone out. Like you care. |
I really like that song.
How am I supposed to focus on applying for jobs when I have so much other work to do?
That is the question I keep asking myself. Also it's tough when you know that you might not be able to travel out of the city and I'm also below a lot of my competition (fellow 1Ls) grade-wise. It's really hard to concentrate on anything these days. I have this big writing assignment due on Friday, that I haven't really started actually writing yet.
I talked to Courtney today for the first time in, like, forever. It's weird because she's down in Manchester, NH and I'm up in Portland. This is weird because I used to live in Concord, NH and she used to live near Portland. I think she works at Concord Hospital now.
My friend Tamara, a classmate, said we might have a snow day tomorrow because the weather doesn't look too good. I hope she's right. Maybe I'll be productive this time. I have so much work to get done.
There are a few places I'd like to work, so I have to write a bunch of cover letters. I also have to call or e-mail some people who will make good references. I hope that somehow I'll be able to find Professor Krislov's e-mail address or Phone number. He was kind of my mentor in college and he would make a very good reference. I'm kinda teetering about calling Professor Cohn, because she and I didn't really get a long all that well. She did give me an A- on my thesis though. We'll see.
Smallville was good, but I was hoping Lana would die. I really am starting to not like her character. Even when she knew and said yes to Clark, it bothered me because I knew that it couldn't really happen if the show would stay in accordance with mainstream Superman lore. I'm going to miss John Schneider. I really liked his portrayal of Johnathan Kent.
Battlestar Galactica was pretty cool this week. I've always been an Apollo fan, but I like him even more now. I think he did the right thing in the end.
Well, I should get back to work.
I talked to Courtney today for the first time in, like, forever. It's weird because she's down in Manchester, NH and I'm up in Portland. This is weird because I used to live in Concord, NH and she used to live near Portland. I think she works at Concord Hospital now.
My friend Tamara, a classmate, said we might have a snow day tomorrow because the weather doesn't look too good. I hope she's right. Maybe I'll be productive this time. I have so much work to get done.
There are a few places I'd like to work, so I have to write a bunch of cover letters. I also have to call or e-mail some people who will make good references. I hope that somehow I'll be able to find Professor Krislov's e-mail address or Phone number. He was kind of my mentor in college and he would make a very good reference. I'm kinda teetering about calling Professor Cohn, because she and I didn't really get a long all that well. She did give me an A- on my thesis though. We'll see.
Smallville was good, but I was hoping Lana would die. I really am starting to not like her character. Even when she knew and said yes to Clark, it bothered me because I knew that it couldn't really happen if the show would stay in accordance with mainstream Superman lore. I'm going to miss John Schneider. I really liked his portrayal of Johnathan Kent.
Battlestar Galactica was pretty cool this week. I've always been an Apollo fan, but I like him even more now. I think he did the right thing in the end.
Well, I should get back to work.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Snow Day
Yesterday was a snow day. It was nice to have the day off and everything, but I didn't get any work done. I get so lazy sometimes. I really need to start pushing myself more. I need to work harder.
Did anyone else read about this. It's so sad. I saw the mother being interviewed on TV and it almost made me cry. Sounds like one of the most horrible things that can happen to a person, to have all your kids and your father die in one day. I don't know how I would go on. Horrible stuff.
More sadness (though not nearly as sad): The West Wing is leaving the air. I'm really gonna miss that show, even though there were moments where I just wanted certain episodes to end, even in the latter years they still came up with a gem or two now and again. I guess I'll have one last show to keep track of.
Anyways, tonight is the 100th Episode of Smallville and I am very excited for that. Someone is going to die. And...Spoilers/theories...
Clark is going to ask Lana to marry him and tell her the truth about his powers. My thought is that this makes Lana a prime target for death. The producers have said that anyone can die, and they didn't limit it to people who aren't alive or don't exist in official Superman canon (movies or comics) e.i. Chloe or Jonathan Kent. I still think that Jonathan is the most likely candidate, with his previous dealings with Jor-El and his heart condition (though they say who ever dies is going to die in a car accident.) A suprise to me is that this death is all storyline based, it's not because someone wanted to leave the show. Apparently the person who dies took it well, though.
Did anyone else read about this. It's so sad. I saw the mother being interviewed on TV and it almost made me cry. Sounds like one of the most horrible things that can happen to a person, to have all your kids and your father die in one day. I don't know how I would go on. Horrible stuff.
More sadness (though not nearly as sad): The West Wing is leaving the air. I'm really gonna miss that show, even though there were moments where I just wanted certain episodes to end, even in the latter years they still came up with a gem or two now and again. I guess I'll have one last show to keep track of.
Anyways, tonight is the 100th Episode of Smallville and I am very excited for that. Someone is going to die. And...Spoilers/theories...
Clark is going to ask Lana to marry him and tell her the truth about his powers. My thought is that this makes Lana a prime target for death. The producers have said that anyone can die, and they didn't limit it to people who aren't alive or don't exist in official Superman canon (movies or comics) e.i. Chloe or Jonathan Kent. I still think that Jonathan is the most likely candidate, with his previous dealings with Jor-El and his heart condition (though they say who ever dies is going to die in a car accident.) A suprise to me is that this death is all storyline based, it's not because someone wanted to leave the show. Apparently the person who dies took it well, though.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Damn!
Jess got into an accident on her way home from school yesterday. She's ok, physically, but she's still shaken up about the whole thing, and we're sure to take a financial beating. Luckily it was just her, and no other cars were involved. She was changing lanes and a patch of ice sent her off the road and into the guard rail. The damage to the car isn't terrible, but it'll still cost us a pretty penny because I don't have collision car insurance coverage. There's a long shot that Jess's insurance can cover it. One can always hope. I'm just glad Jess is alright.
So, Sam Alito made it through the judiciary comittee. My Constitutional Law professor says he doesn't think Roe is in jeopardy, but what is dangerous is that Alito and those in his cohort (scalia, thomas) believe in the power of the executive and don't believe in the power of congress. Having an all powerful executive is a scary thing, as any political scientist would tell you. In Alito's records there is a document that he wrote supporting something called the Executive Signing Statement. Now these are old news to White House insiders, but the way in which Bush has used them is to expand the executive power. An executive signing statement is a note (mostly in legalese) that the president attaches to a bill when he signs it into law. In the case of the anti-torture bill that McCain convinced Bush to sign, the signing statement was tantamount to saying that the executive could disobey this law in certain situations. Executives aren't supposed to legislate, and I think that these signing statements are unconstitutional. And Bush has had more of them than any other President.
Anyway, it looks like Alito will be confirmed, albeit along party lines.
So, Sam Alito made it through the judiciary comittee. My Constitutional Law professor says he doesn't think Roe is in jeopardy, but what is dangerous is that Alito and those in his cohort (scalia, thomas) believe in the power of the executive and don't believe in the power of congress. Having an all powerful executive is a scary thing, as any political scientist would tell you. In Alito's records there is a document that he wrote supporting something called the Executive Signing Statement. Now these are old news to White House insiders, but the way in which Bush has used them is to expand the executive power. An executive signing statement is a note (mostly in legalese) that the president attaches to a bill when he signs it into law. In the case of the anti-torture bill that McCain convinced Bush to sign, the signing statement was tantamount to saying that the executive could disobey this law in certain situations. Executives aren't supposed to legislate, and I think that these signing statements are unconstitutional. And Bush has had more of them than any other President.
Anyway, it looks like Alito will be confirmed, albeit along party lines.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
I wish I had more time...
I watch too much football. I love it, but I spend too much time doing it. I was really bummed out over the pats losing last week, yet I still caught both games today. One of my close friends is a Bronco fan, so of course I was happy to see them lose. I'm an AFC man all the way, so I guess I'll be rooting for the Steelers, and it'll be nice to root for the underdog. Don't always get to do that. They have a good chance against the Seahawks, though.
The reason I wish I had more time is that I'm constantly thinking of things I would like to do. Sometimes my constant thinking is at the expense of the moment. I guess in that way I'm glad I have this blog. I can't some stuff off my chest much quicker this way. With that said, it's not the best arrangement ever, because even now I should be doing homework. You'd be surprised how 40 pages of reading can be when you have analyze every little detail. I should be up pretty late. I don't mind though.
Jess, my fiancee, got ten dollars from her great aunt for Christmas. It's nice because she never sees her great aunt, and also her great aunt doesn't have all that much money. Makes me sad. I got some money from my grandfather. Neither of us are nearly as in touch as we'd like to be with our elders. It's tough. Another reason we need more time. I have so much studying to do, and every chance I have to talk to my Grandfather could be my last chance. It's sad. He's turning 89 on Jan 26th, I think. Could be ninety. I hope I remember to give him a call. I hope I have time. Ok, I should get back to my work. These selfish posts are good once in a while I guess. I'll try to be more informative and in tune with current events or entertainment with my next post.
The reason I wish I had more time is that I'm constantly thinking of things I would like to do. Sometimes my constant thinking is at the expense of the moment. I guess in that way I'm glad I have this blog. I can't some stuff off my chest much quicker this way. With that said, it's not the best arrangement ever, because even now I should be doing homework. You'd be surprised how 40 pages of reading can be when you have analyze every little detail. I should be up pretty late. I don't mind though.
Jess, my fiancee, got ten dollars from her great aunt for Christmas. It's nice because she never sees her great aunt, and also her great aunt doesn't have all that much money. Makes me sad. I got some money from my grandfather. Neither of us are nearly as in touch as we'd like to be with our elders. It's tough. Another reason we need more time. I have so much studying to do, and every chance I have to talk to my Grandfather could be my last chance. It's sad. He's turning 89 on Jan 26th, I think. Could be ninety. I hope I remember to give him a call. I hope I have time. Ok, I should get back to my work. These selfish posts are good once in a while I guess. I'll try to be more informative and in tune with current events or entertainment with my next post.
Underworld: Evolution
What can I say: A solid flick. I found that I enjoyed Underworld: Evolution much more than I thought I would. The special effects were incredible. The story was fast paced. And of course, Seline was hot.
I was amazed at how much plot this movie actually had, and how well it followed the second. I have no doubt that there will be a third, and I'll pay to see that one on the big screen too. For a proper review, I'll need to incorporate spoilers. With that said, SPOILERS AHEAD.
Didn't mean for that to rhyme.
Anyways, the movie starts off where the last one left off. Seline and Michael are on the move, and Kraven, is still an asshole. While the two heroes are hiding out, he's heading to the Vampire Leader Storage area to kill Marcus. What he doesn't realized (and what anyone who saw the first movie should have realized) is that Marcus is already awake and empowered by the Lycan blood that spilled down into his sleep chamber when the Lycan scientist was killed by Viktor. Marcus goes on a warpath and kills Kraven and his goons, absorbing the memories from Kraven's blood to help him get back with the story so far (this type of thing also helps this movie remain self-contained despite the fact that it's a sequel; you don't have to see the first one to enjoy and understand the second one, though it helps a bloody lot). Long and short of it, he sees the amulet that Lucien had and Michael now wears and it interests him.
Then, Marcus goes to hunt down Seline and Michael and after a pretty cool fight, Seline and Marcus both need to get out of the open because it's morning. All the while, a mysterious old man is investigating what happened to Seline's coven, using photos and video tapes of stuff that happened in the first movie. He cuts open Viktor and removes something.
After sunset, and some Seline and Michael sex, our heroes set out to find a historian that Seline helped Viktor cast into exile so they can help explain all this interest in the amulet (during the Marcus/Michael fight, Marcus tries to get the amulet, but is unsuccessful). The Exile tells them about how Marcus has a brother who was the first werewolf (who we saw in a prologue part of the movie) and that it was Marcus and not Viktor who was the eldest vampire. In fact, Viktor was not born a vampire, but turned by Marcus. The story is told that Marcus's brother is locked up somewhere and the amulet is one key to the prison and the second key is actually under Viktor's flesh (at this point your guessing it's the thing the mysterious old man removed). The Exile tells Seline and Michael to find a guy named Lorenzo or something like that and after Seline and Michael leave, he is killed by Marcus and Marcus gathers all this information from his blood memory. The Lorenzo guy turns out to be Alexander Corvinus who lives on a boat. He is the father of Marcus and his brother who has been doomed to walk to the planet as an immortal. He explains to Michael that he is his forefather, and to both of our heroes that he has been travelling europe cleaning up after the mess his sons have made. He has always felt bad for mankind and stuff.
Then Marcus comes and kills Michael and Alexander, grabs the key and flies away. Alexander tells Seline to drink some of his blood to give her more power, and then she and a team of Alexanders elite troops flies to the location of Marcus's brothers prison (hidden to Marcus until now because Seline's real family were the ones who built the tomb and its location was hidden in her "blood memory" which Marcus was able to absorb just enough of during the fight on Alexander's boat [this is also the reason Viktor killed Seline's family: to keep the prison's location a secret]). Then the final confrontation happens. This is a great battle scene. Michael comes back to life to save the day, and at the end it turns out that not only did Alexander's blood give Seline the power to stop Marcus and his brother, but she can now survive in sunlight.
So, yeah, other than the whole "blood memory" thing, which wasn't a terrible device, I didn't have too many complaints. This was a good movie. The fight scenes were awesome and the pace (one of the most important parts of movies in my book) was excellent. Go see Underworld: Evolution!
I was amazed at how much plot this movie actually had, and how well it followed the second. I have no doubt that there will be a third, and I'll pay to see that one on the big screen too. For a proper review, I'll need to incorporate spoilers. With that said, SPOILERS AHEAD.
Didn't mean for that to rhyme.
Anyways, the movie starts off where the last one left off. Seline and Michael are on the move, and Kraven, is still an asshole. While the two heroes are hiding out, he's heading to the Vampire Leader Storage area to kill Marcus. What he doesn't realized (and what anyone who saw the first movie should have realized) is that Marcus is already awake and empowered by the Lycan blood that spilled down into his sleep chamber when the Lycan scientist was killed by Viktor. Marcus goes on a warpath and kills Kraven and his goons, absorbing the memories from Kraven's blood to help him get back with the story so far (this type of thing also helps this movie remain self-contained despite the fact that it's a sequel; you don't have to see the first one to enjoy and understand the second one, though it helps a bloody lot). Long and short of it, he sees the amulet that Lucien had and Michael now wears and it interests him.
Then, Marcus goes to hunt down Seline and Michael and after a pretty cool fight, Seline and Marcus both need to get out of the open because it's morning. All the while, a mysterious old man is investigating what happened to Seline's coven, using photos and video tapes of stuff that happened in the first movie. He cuts open Viktor and removes something.
After sunset, and some Seline and Michael sex, our heroes set out to find a historian that Seline helped Viktor cast into exile so they can help explain all this interest in the amulet (during the Marcus/Michael fight, Marcus tries to get the amulet, but is unsuccessful). The Exile tells them about how Marcus has a brother who was the first werewolf (who we saw in a prologue part of the movie) and that it was Marcus and not Viktor who was the eldest vampire. In fact, Viktor was not born a vampire, but turned by Marcus. The story is told that Marcus's brother is locked up somewhere and the amulet is one key to the prison and the second key is actually under Viktor's flesh (at this point your guessing it's the thing the mysterious old man removed). The Exile tells Seline and Michael to find a guy named Lorenzo or something like that and after Seline and Michael leave, he is killed by Marcus and Marcus gathers all this information from his blood memory. The Lorenzo guy turns out to be Alexander Corvinus who lives on a boat. He is the father of Marcus and his brother who has been doomed to walk to the planet as an immortal. He explains to Michael that he is his forefather, and to both of our heroes that he has been travelling europe cleaning up after the mess his sons have made. He has always felt bad for mankind and stuff.
Then Marcus comes and kills Michael and Alexander, grabs the key and flies away. Alexander tells Seline to drink some of his blood to give her more power, and then she and a team of Alexanders elite troops flies to the location of Marcus's brothers prison (hidden to Marcus until now because Seline's real family were the ones who built the tomb and its location was hidden in her "blood memory" which Marcus was able to absorb just enough of during the fight on Alexander's boat [this is also the reason Viktor killed Seline's family: to keep the prison's location a secret]). Then the final confrontation happens. This is a great battle scene. Michael comes back to life to save the day, and at the end it turns out that not only did Alexander's blood give Seline the power to stop Marcus and his brother, but she can now survive in sunlight.
So, yeah, other than the whole "blood memory" thing, which wasn't a terrible device, I didn't have too many complaints. This was a good movie. The fight scenes were awesome and the pace (one of the most important parts of movies in my book) was excellent. Go see Underworld: Evolution!
Friday, January 20, 2006
My first post
So, this is a blog. Yay. What do I do here? I don't know. I guess it's time to start posting regularly. Anyways, I'm a law student in Maine. I live with my fiancee Jess. That's about it for information.
I am going to do my best to comment on current events and not so current events that are relevant to life. I hope I don't offend anyway, but most of the time I'll be telling the truth. Or just being ironic. and both those things tend to offend people.
I am going to do my best to comment on current events and not so current events that are relevant to life. I hope I don't offend anyway, but most of the time I'll be telling the truth. Or just being ironic. and both those things tend to offend people.
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